“Be still and know that I am God” Ps 46:10
I’m never quiet. I’m never still.
I wake up every morning to my phone alarm, scrolling through Instagram of Facebook in an attempt not to go straight back to sleep.
I listen to music or a podcast on the bus to uni.
When lectures get boring, I’m back on Instagram.
When I get a break, back in go the headphones, watching YouTube videos or listening to more music.
I listen to music as I study.
I sit in bed every night with a journal and prayer book but I never seem to have much to say. The silence leaves me uncomfortable and, honestly, a bit bored.
I turn out my light and got to sleep
God is nudging me: where is the stillness? Where is the quiet? Where is the space in your life? Last weekend I was in Christchurch for The Abbey (our national youth leadership conference) and on the Sunday morning there was a Eucharist service as the sun rose. Somehow I ended up being the first there, and I stood alone looking out over the bay as the golden glow over the hills hinted that the sun was about to rise. It was quiet. It was still. I wasn’t listening to music. I wasn’t looking for distractions.
I was there and the sun was rising.
More people arrived and we had a simple yet incredible little service. We served each other bread and wine. We recited liturgy as the sun rose.
I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that incredible moment in the week and a half since. God is yelling at me “See! Be still and know that I am God!”.
Life is busy. I am stressed. Silence is uncomfortable. My brain is wired to constantly be entertained. But more and more I’m desperate to be still, to be silent.
Eleanor is a full time student studying for a music/commerce conjoint degree and part time ministry assistant at AYM – including work with the Grace Collective! She helps to organise and run events, writes for the blog, MCs and has been known to jam out a set or two. She is passionate about seeing people challenged and starting conversations. If you have any Grace Collective questions, you can email her at firstname.lastname@example.org.